May 18, 2006 Kevin Kendall

On November 6th, a cyclist named Kevin Kendall died when a car hit him on his bicycle. For more info, check out the following link: Kevin Kendall.

His death really struck me because I went through something very similar. But, obviously, unless I'm typing this from the great beyond, I didn't die.

I especially like his quote,“My citizenship is in Heaven.”

It's so true, if you think about it. Heaven is a place that we'll all end up some day. So really, we've all been citizens of heaven since birth...

...unless you're into death metal. Then It'd be nerdy to say that you're a citizen of Heaven. It'd be way cooler if you said, "My citizenship is in hell. And Satan is my president!"

I'm totally into freestyle rap. Here's a link for ya'll:

http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx-itemnum-840

I don't know who won that one. But I totally think the guy dressed in orange did.

It's the 21st century jazz/poetry. I think I might try to come up with some of my own, too.

5-02-06 How things are now...

This head trauma [AKA brain damage] has changed the way I view pain in others.

More specifically, I view people who I once viewed as "pussies" or "wimps" as people who haven't had to deal with a lot of pain. Now I view them as "lucky".

I'm going to write a story about a person who has gone through life without experiencing any pain.

He ends up getting an office job because, of all the jobs he applied for [I'll have him apply for some strange, eccentric jobs too] he thinks, it's the easiest, pain-free one to deal with.

However, he stays late one day to finish a report that's due the next day.

While coallating it, he ends up getting a paper cut. He absolutely flips out, collapsing and writing on the floor in "pain". He ends up calling 911.

Unfortunately for him, it starts to bleed. Seeing this, he decides that he'd rather die by jumping from the high building than bleed to death.

So he jumps to his death.

All over a paper cut.

April 27, 2006 New name?

Hello friends, I feel like a new person due to my "head trauma" [AKA "brain damage"]. Because of this, I'd like to rename myself. And I'm looking for suggestions. So if you could help, that'd be great.

Here's what I came up with so far. I really like them. But I don't think they fit me:
*Clinksydoolah
*Blurbablippy
*Pinkle [I have a soft spot for this one]
*Blinksy
*Plubber
*Jonklobloblah

So, what do you think? Suggestions would be great!

Regards,
Skullen

April 25, 2006. My "Full House" inspired story.

Hello peeps [yes, I'm hip now],

I'm going to use this blog in attempts to get my writing ability back. And, yes, I did have some writing ability.

My post-coma brain is totally obsessed with bad television. I find that, for some odd reason, I'm inspired by bad TV. So I'm going to try to write a story inspired by that awesome sitcom "Full House".

I'm lucky, since most people have seen this wonderful program, I can be short with my descriptions of the characters.

********

The Groovy Girls

One autumn day, Uncle Jesse's band, The Cool Guys, was practising in the basement.

Jesse's niece Stephanie and her friend Kimmy were stealing shots of booze in the kitchen. The music came through the shut basement door.

Kimmy took her third shot of bourbon, and said to Stephanie, "You know what? I didn't think they'd be so good."

Holding a full shot glass, Stephanie crinkled her eyebrows and said, "Yeah they're pretty good. But you won't hear any Backstreet Boys songs coming from down there."

[laugh track]

Stephanie's two year old sister, Michelle walked in, heard the music, and let off huge smile. "Cool," she said as she gave off a thumbs up, "Rock N' Row"

[laugh track]

A loud knock comes from the front door. Stephanie answers it.

Two skanky-looking women are in the doorway.

"Uncle Jesse," Yells Stephanie, "Your groupies are here!"

[laugh track]


To Be Continued...whether you like it or not.

April 22 The way I feel sometimes...

Hello gentle readers,

I found a terrific photo that is the perfect representation of the way I sometimes feel:

4-18-06 Bicycle Greenways continued...

In getting to this sad state of affairs, the motoring public did have a general plan -a unifying vision. In the '50's, it pledged our country's resources, best human talent and billions of dollars to making its dream of a utopia real. "If you build 'em, they will come." This was the rallying cry for the interstate highways. As cyclists, we need to commandeer this phrase for ourselves; use it to reverse the sad state of current affairs that this country's love affair with the auto has forced on us.

[You're right about that. However, I think it'll take a lot more time to get bicycles to come than it did for cars. It seems to me that Americans are deathly afraid of physical exursion [SP?].

Maybe there should be some sort of incentive. Maybe some sort of a tax break for those who use it?

4-16-06 Bicycle Greenways

I'm going to use this blog to respond to an article about "National Bicycle Greenways" [NBGs]. The article can be found on the following site: http://www.nationalbicyclegreenway.com/About_NBG/nbgvision.php

NBG Vision

Our Vision of Two-Wheel Unity

Imagine a tree shaded path that cycle tourists, bike commuters, those out for a family ride, and people of all ages and nationalities can come together on to have their biking needs met; a network of bike roads and paths that all of these users can ride side by side on to get to wherever it is that they may need to travel. Car drivers already have such a network of arterials -- the interstate system. And yet while on the Greenway network we envision there is laughter, the smell of fresh cut grass or newly plowed earth, and the faint sound of gears clicking and birds chirping merrily away. On America's freeways, enclosed in their metal capsules, its users are pitted against one another and the planet itself. On their roads, as a result of the way they are designed, motorists only further implode this great sense of separation (not to mention the damage they are causing to one another and the earth itself) that they feel from the planet and from their fellow man.

[Great job contrasting how things are now, in our automobile-dependent culture, to how you envision to be without the auto.

However, when you write about how things are now, you use the phrase "on thier roads". I'm confused that you used the word "thier". Sure, you might not have a car, but you do use the thier roads. So, even though you don't want to admit it, they are your roads too. ]

More to come...

Friday, April 14, 2005 Homosexuality

I wonder why so many Xians [AKA. Christians] consider homosexuality to be a sin.

I view it as a human characteristic that God, if you believe in one, put into humans as way to prevent world overpopulation.

It also is a good thing for orphans. Since homos aren't able to create children with eachother, there's a good chance that they might adopt.

Unfortunately, More Uncle Joey Jokes...

"Hey, I hear rap is a really big thing now... I'm actually thinking of giving up this comedy act [a bunch fake-cries] - don't be sad - I've got a sweet job at WalMart. But first, I'm going to try my hand at rap, and hopefully ride the hip hoppity wave.

Here's a rap song I made up the other day:

My name is Joe
And I aint be lyin
I'm a really funny guy
I be makin you cryin' "

Thursday, April 13, 2006. Uncle Joey

I am now totally into watching that hilarious sitcom "Full House." I watch, mainly, for that hilarious character Uncle Joey.

I'm so inspired by his comedic skills that I've written a couple of "Joey-inspired" jokes:

"I had a girl over for - wink wink - brake fast. I was going to make some french toast. But she told me that she doesn't eat foreign food.

"It was strange. I knew her from highschool. We were in the same homeroom. Our teacher was Mr. Druff. Mr. Dan Druff."

[unfortunately, there'll be more jokes later...]

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Most artists are inspired by something or someone.

I wonder what God, if you believe in one, was inspired by when he created Earth.

I believe there's a story in that.

*****

My new brain works in very mysterious ways. I feel as though I once lived my life as somebody completely different from the person I am now.

Weird things pop in to my head. For example, I wonder if any readers have ever seen the movie "Booty Call".

I haven't. But I'm totally itchin to rent it.

And, as far as I know, I've always been a nerdy, white dude my whole life.

Monday, April 10, 2006

One should live a life in a manor that a number of people will, not only know, but also feel it, when your dead. They should live a life that has an affect on people.

When I die, it'll be the end of my writing. I hope that my writing has affected people...other than making them barf.

Did I use the write "affect" ? Or should it be "effect"?

4-09-06 Last names and a Nanostory

It is the 21st century you know, so when a couple gets married they should sit down and discuss who's last name they're going to take. It's totally sexist that it's just assumed that the woman will take the man's last name.

If I were a woman with a very cool last name and my fiance had the last name Pinknolobula, I'd be totally horrified that, not only me, but, my future children will have that that as a last name.

***********
If you've never heard of "Nanofiction" check the following site out: http://www.wunderland.com/WTS/Andy/Nanofiction.html

I was so inspired that I wrote my own nanostory. It's sci fi of course:

Saturn's ring band

The space band played in a club on Saturn's ring.

There were three Saturnians in the band. Moolah Doolah was in charge of eminating sounds that kept rhythm. Contripity was in charge of the sounds that made melody, and Flappy sang.

The group replayed sounds collected from the far away planet Earth.

The "drummer" Moolah Doolah rhythmically replayed the amplified sound of a golf club hitting a golf ball. The sound was collected from Appleton's Butte Des Morts' Country Club's golf course.

Contripty played the amplified whistle of an Earthling named Cullen who was waiting in line an the Earthling grocery store to pay for a twelve pack of "Pabst Blue Ribbon".

Flappy Belted out the Saturnian tune:

Snowshee Burblap
Pooplew Dobolew
Powfree Curflap
Foopew Pomofew!!!

The song moved the audience to tears.

April 06, 2006 Journal

I know that my coma, and my coma recovery process, has been very hard on my daughter. And this gives me an idea.

I'm going write a journal with the idea that, one day in the future, I'll give it to her so she can get a better understanding of exactly what I was going through.

*******

On a much different note, I was reading the latest issue of Punk Planet when I got a great idea. It struck me that, yes, there are many zines for indie book. But I don't know of any for indie books. Zines that treat books and authors like rock stars.

April 03, 2006.

I picked up an old copy of Better Homes and Gardens. It actually had an article that I really enjoyed.

The article was entitle "Living A Vivid Dream". It was about the home/apartment-type things , called Habitat 67, built for the 1967 world's fair in Montreal.

My descriptions won't do it justice, so check out this website: Habitat 67.

***

On a different note, I sorta miss the awesomely funny sitcom, Perfect Strangers.

The hijinks of Balki and Cousin Larry were just so damn wacky. I'd find myself laughing so hard that I'd accidently barf and poop my pants.

4-02-06 Reading

Reading with a damaged brain really suck. For example, I'm reading a sci fi book by Tim Pratt called "The Strange Adventures Of Rangergirl". I find myself having to reread the beginning everytime I pick it up because I have no idea what happened up to the spot I've placed my book mark.

Because of this, I thought I'd try short fiction. Same problem. Except I don't have to take a break from it to lose my place. It happens in just the short time it takes me to flip the page.

March 30, 2006 EZ Reacher

My wife Allyson rocks da muthafuckin house!

Because it's hard for my crippled body to grab far away things, she got me this awesome device called the EZ Reacher. Check it out: EZ Reacher.

However, one thing I've noticed is that, because its arm's so long, it's hard to drink a beer...

***

On a much different note, our friends, Ric and Stevie, just came over with thier adopted kid Marrissa.

She so cute. She's proof that it's not genes that make a family; it's love.

P.S. Just so you know they're not a gay couple. Stevie is, in fact, a woman. She uses the nickname "Stevie" in place of her real name, "Steven".

March 24, 2006 * Bright Eyes

I was just writing a story on my computer. And I was listening to a CD while doing it.

If you're curious about my musical tastes, I was listening to the new Bright Eyes album, Fevers And Mirrors.

And while listening to it, it dawned on me that I actually saw Bright Eyes live in Green Bay in some guy's basement.

This realization kind of depressed me a bit because it made me realize just how atrocious my memory is. I've seen tons and tons and tons of punk rock bands - I was a scenester, afterall - but I don't have a single memory of those shows.

I also saw the great emo band BOYS LIFE.

***

I used to go through periods of self loathing. I thought that, because I was born with a cock, I deserved what happened to me. But now I think that being comatosed while riding your bike to school is just shitty no matter if you have a penis or vagina.

The whole thing has greatly affected my wife and daughter...Both female.

I hope that there are some females out there who realize that being a dude can have its painful moments.

3-18-06

Hello friends [and yes, I Do mean you],

We all have places in our lives that changed us forever. Maybe it was the place where your lifelong love asked your hand in marriage. Or maybe it's the bank you robbed and, afterwards, made you filthy rich.

The place that changed me was the intersection of Water Street and Brady Street near UW-Milwaukee. It changed me because that's where I was hit while riding my bike by a pickup truck. That's where I was comatosed.

Because that intersection changed my life, I plan on paying it a visit on April 1st [the day I was hit]. And I'll probably have a statement written telling the people gathered how I feel, how I'm doing, and my future goals.

I wonder if any of my readers have places in thier lives that changed them. Changed them for good or bad. If so, what are they?