Thursday, April 27, 2006

April 27, 2006 New name?

Hello friends, I feel like a new person due to my "head trauma" [AKA "brain damage"]. Because of this, I'd like to rename myself. And I'm looking for suggestions. So if you could help, that'd be great.

Here's what I came up with so far. I really like them. But I don't think they fit me:
*Pinkle [I have a soft spot for this one]

So, what do you think? Suggestions would be great!


Tuesday, April 25, 2006

April 25, 2006. My "Full House" inspired story.

Hello peeps [yes, I'm hip now],

I'm going to use this blog in attempts to get my writing ability back. And, yes, I did have some writing ability.

My post-coma brain is totally obsessed with bad television. I find that, for some odd reason, I'm inspired by bad TV. So I'm going to try to write a story inspired by that awesome sitcom "Full House".

I'm lucky, since most people have seen this wonderful program, I can be short with my descriptions of the characters.


The Groovy Girls

One autumn day, Uncle Jesse's band, The Cool Guys, was practising in the basement.

Jesse's niece Stephanie and her friend Kimmy were stealing shots of booze in the kitchen. The music came through the shut basement door.
Kimmy took her third shot of bourbon, and said to Stephanie, "You know what? I didn't think they'd be so good."

Holding a full shot glass, Stephanie crinkled her eyebrows and said, "Yeah they're pretty good. But you won't hear any Backstreet Boys songs coming from down there."

[laugh track]

Stephanie's two year old sister, Michelle walked in, heard the music, and let off huge smile. "Cool," she said as she gave off a thumbs up, "Rock N' Row"

[laugh track]

A loud knock comes from the front door. Stephanie answers it.

Two skanky-looking women are in the doorway.

"Uncle Jesse," Yells Stephanie, "Your groupies are here!"

[laugh track]

To Be Continued...whether you like it or not.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

April 22 The way I feel sometimes...

Hello gentle readers,

I found a terrific photo that is the perfect representation of the way I sometimes feel:

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

4-18-06 Bicycle Greenways continued...

In getting to this sad state of affairs, the motoring public did have a general plan -a unifying vision. In the '50's, it pledged our country's resources, best human talent and billions of dollars to making its dream of a utopia real. "If you build 'em, they will come." This was the rallying cry for the interstate highways. As cyclists, we need to commandeer this phrase for ourselves; use it to reverse the sad state of current affairs that this country's love affair with the auto has forced on us.

[You're right about that. However, I think it'll take a lot more time to get bicycles to come than it did for cars. It seems to me that Americans are deathly afraid of physical exursion [SP?].

Maybe there should be some sort of incentive. Maybe some sort of a tax break for those who use it?

Sunday, April 16, 2006

4-16-06 Bicycle Greenways

I'm going to use this blog to respond to an article about "National Bicycle Greenways" [NBGs]. The article can be found on the following site:

NBG Vision

Our Vision of Two-Wheel Unity

Imagine a tree shaded path that cycle tourists, bike commuters, those out for a family ride, and people of all ages and nationalities can come together on to have their biking needs met; a network of bike roads and paths that all of these users can ride side by side on to get to wherever it is that they may need to travel. Car drivers already have such a network of arterials -- the interstate system. And yet while on the Greenway network we envision there is laughter, the smell of fresh cut grass or newly plowed earth, and the faint sound of gears clicking and birds chirping merrily away. On America's freeways, enclosed in their metal capsules, its users are pitted against one another and the planet itself. On their roads, as a result of the way they are designed, motorists only further implode this great sense of separation (not to mention the damage they are causing to one another and the earth itself) that they feel from the planet and from their fellow man.

[Great job contrasting how things are now, in our automobile-dependent culture, to how you envision to be without the auto.

However, when you write about how things are now, you use the phrase "on thier roads". I'm confused that you used the word "thier". Sure, you might not have a car, but you do use the thier roads. So, even though you don't want to admit it, they are your roads too. ]

More to come...

Friday, April 14, 2006

Friday, April 14, 2005 Homosexuality

I wonder why so many Xians [AKA. Christians] consider homosexuality to be a sin.

I view it as a human characteristic that God, if you believe in one, put into humans as way to prevent world overpopulation.

It also is a good thing for orphans. Since homos aren't able to create children with eachother, there's a good chance that they might adopt.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Unfortunately, More Uncle Joey Jokes...

"Hey, I hear rap is a really big thing now... I'm actually thinking of giving up this comedy act [a bunch fake-cries] - don't be sad - I've got a sweet job at WalMart. But first, I'm going to try my hand at rap, and hopefully ride the hip hoppity wave.

Here's a rap song I made up the other day:

My name is Joe
And I aint be lyin
I'm a really funny guy
I be makin you cryin' "

Thursday, April 13, 2006. Uncle Joey

I am now totally into watching that hilarious sitcom "Full House." I watch, mainly, for that hilarious character Uncle Joey.

I'm so inspired by his comedic skills that I've written a couple of "Joey-inspired" jokes:

"I had a girl over for - wink wink - brake fast. I was going to make some french toast. But she told me that she doesn't eat foreign food.

"It was strange. I knew her from highschool. We were in the same homeroom. Our teacher was Mr. Druff. Mr. Dan Druff."

[unfortunately, there'll be more jokes later...]

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Most artists are inspired by something or someone.

I wonder what God, if you believe in one, was inspired by when he created Earth.

I believe there's a story in that.


My new brain works in very mysterious ways. I feel as though I once lived my life as somebody completely different from the person I am now.

Weird things pop in to my head. For example, I wonder if any readers have ever seen the movie "Booty Call".

I haven't. But I'm totally itchin to rent it.

And, as far as I know, I've always been a nerdy, white dude my whole life.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Monday, April 10, 2006

One should live a life in a manor that a number of people will, not only know, but also feel it, when your dead. They should live a life that has an affect on people.

When I die, it'll be the end of my writing. I hope that my writing has affected people...other than making them barf.

Did I use the write "affect" ? Or should it be "effect"?

Sunday, April 09, 2006

4-09-06 Last names and a Nanostory

It is the 21st century you know, so when a couple gets married they should sit down and discuss who's last name they're going to take. It's totally sexist that it's just assumed that the woman will take the man's last name.

If I were a woman with a very cool last name and my fiance had the last name Pinknolobula, I'd be totally horrified that, not only me, but, my future children will have that that as a last name.

If you've never heard of "Nanofiction" check the following site out:

I was so inspired that I wrote my own nanostory. It's sci fi of course:

Saturn's ring band

The space band played in a club on Saturn's ring.

There were three Saturnians in the band. Moolah Doolah was in charge of eminating sounds that kept rhythm. Contripity was in charge of the sounds that made melody, and Flappy sang.

The group replayed sounds collected from the far away planet Earth.

The "drummer" Moolah Doolah rhythmically replayed the amplified sound of a golf club hitting a golf ball. The sound was collected from Appleton's Butte Des Morts' Country Club's golf course.

Contripty played the amplified whistle of an Earthling named Cullen who was waiting in line an the Earthling grocery store to pay for a twelve pack of "Pabst Blue Ribbon".

Flappy Belted out the Saturnian tune:

Snowshee Burblap
Pooplew Dobolew
Powfree Curflap
Foopew Pomofew!!!

The song moved the audience to tears.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

April 06, 2006 Journal

I know that my coma, and my coma recovery process, has been very hard on my daughter. And this gives me an idea.

I'm going write a journal with the idea that, one day in the future, I'll give it to her so she can get a better understanding of exactly what I was going through.


On a much different note, I was reading the latest issue of Punk Planet when I got a great idea. It struck me that, yes, there are many zines for indie book. But I don't know of any for indie books. Zines that treat books and authors like rock stars.

Monday, April 03, 2006

April 03, 2006.

I picked up an old copy of Better Homes and Gardens. It actually had an article that I really enjoyed.

The article was entitle "Living A Vivid Dream". It was about the home/apartment-type things , called Habitat 67, built for the 1967 world's fair in Montreal.

My descriptions won't do it justice, so check out this website: Habitat 67.


On a different note, I sorta miss the awesomely funny sitcom, Perfect Strangers.

The hijinks of Balki and Cousin Larry were just so damn wacky. I'd find myself laughing so hard that I'd accidently barf and poop my pants.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

4-02-06 Reading

Reading with a damaged brain really suck. For example, I'm reading a sci fi book by Tim Pratt called "The Strange Adventures Of Rangergirl". I find myself having to reread the beginning everytime I pick it up because I have no idea what happened up to the spot I've placed my book mark.

Because of this, I thought I'd try short fiction. Same problem. Except I don't have to take a break from it to lose my place. It happens in just the short time it takes me to flip the page.


About Me

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I'm a happily married 33 gentleman. My wife Allyson and I have an 11 year old daughter named Veronica.