August 29, 2006 Reggae

I'm not a big fan of reggae music, but I discovered this great reggae musician named "Mad Cobra". He's really great, and I especially love the gangster - woops, I mean gangsta - look he's striving for.

He's got a sweet belt buckle too!

August 25, 2006...Fibs

I've been thinking about lying, and, how today it's impossible to get away with telling a lie. With the internet and things of that nature - in other words, things of mass communication - the truth will be exposed.

Sure, one might be able to stop it now. But when that person dies, thier lies can be exposed.

August 11, 2006...Ghetto Salinger

I'm now reading J.D. Salinger's awesome book of short stories called Nine Stories. He's such a nineteen fifties writer. You can tell because the characters in his stories are always smoking. And smoking nonchalantly. Not that I have anything against smoking [except it causing cancer and all]. I just think it's funny how the time has passed where something, that, at one time, wasn't a big deal, causes readers to internally shake thier heads in dismay.

I want to write a Salinger inspired story. But my story will be set in the ghetto. And, because it's set in the ghetto, I'll cram full of things like nonchallant crack smoking.

I could also make whitetrash characters that live in trailor parks. I'll load the stories with nonchallant smoking. And drinking good beer like "Busch Light".

August 10, 2006...One sentence? HOLY SHIT!

I'm, now, reading a book by David Guterson called Our Lady Of The Forest. My once-comatosed brain finds it very hard to get past the first page. I find it hard because it contains an ultra-long sentence that one has to read multiple times to digest. So, I'll share the single sentence:

According to her own account and the accounts of others in the North Fork Campground who would later be questioned by the diocesan committee, by Father Collins of Saint Joseph's of North Fork, by the bishop's representative, and by reporter covering the purported apparitions - including tabloid journalist who treated the story like a visitation by martians or the birth of a two-headed infant- the girl left her camp before eight o'clock and walked alone in the woods.

Yes, that is only one sentence!

Thursday, August 3, 2006 The end of the world...and how to prevent it. Uplifting, I know!

I know how the world ends.

In my vision of the future, science has progressed so much that we now have the ability to obliterate the entire planet with one touch of a button.

The Earth's end will come during a time of war. The only way to win this war is to mass annialate the "enemy". And, in doing so, we greatly damage the environment. And, because everything depends on the environment for survival, it has a huge effect.

I'm a big proponent of evolution. And one can say "survival of the fittest" will solve the problem. But, the change in the environment would be so drastic that gene mutation won't be able to keep up.

Now, I also know of ways to prevent this bleak future...

We must keep our educated. They should also be aware that every decision they make - no matter how small - has a role in the Earth's future.

Wednesday, August 2, 2006 Salinger

I'm currently rereading J.D. Salinger's book of short stories Nine Stories. If you haven't read it, it's a terrific read, and I highly suggest going to your local library and checking out a copy.

Salinger has greatly inspired me. I absolutely love his writing. More specifically, I like the way he can make a sentence very long and crammed with information, but, still make it easily readable.

Here are some examples from a story entitled Uncle Wiggly in Connecticut:

"She explained to Mary Jane, who had come out to the driveway to meet her, that everything had been perfect that she remembered the way exactly, until she turned off the Merrick Parkway. Eloise said, "Merritt Parkway, baby," and reminded Mary Jane that she had found the house twice before, but ary Jane just wailed something ambiguous, something about her box of Kleenex, and rushed back to her convertable."

Just so you know, that's only two sentences!

I totatally want to write like that. Salinger's a huge inspiration to me.

Here's some Salinger links:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._D._Salinger
http://www.levity.com/corduroy/salinger.htm
http://www.freeweb.hu/tchl/salinger/ (Uncollected writing)

July 15, 2006 Tour De Appleton

Hello Gentle Readers,

The biggest bicycle race, Tour De France, is going on right now. I'm lucky that I can watch on television. It makes me drool for cycling again.

Luckily, there's a very popular race here in Appleton [where I live] starting in the beginning of August. It's called Tour De Appleton.

It's not open to everybody, however. There are some prerequisites...

The first prerequisite is that you should’ve, at one time, been busted for drunk driving.

The second is that your driver’s license should’ve been revoked.

The third, is that you should ride a cheap ass bike…Preferably bought from a place like Walmart... Something like a Huffy or Next.

I’m definitely going to sign up for it when I get my tricycle. Hopefully they’ll let me in…

July 10, 2006 Breezer Bicycles

When I get back on a two-wheeled bike, I'm going to get a Breezer Bike.

Breezers are totally utilitarian. You can use them to run all your errands.

I especially like the folding bikes.

7-2-06 Idea taken from "Memento"

That movie "Memento" greatly inspired me to improve my memory. In the movie, the main character has some severe brain damage, along with a very bad, short-term memory. To make up for his memory, he tattoos the major things in his life that he should remember on his skin.

I'd like to attempt the same thing. But my brain damage doesn't work the same way. I remember things in my distant past just fine. However, I don't remember short term things very well. In other words, things that have happened since I was comatosed.

So, instead of having my wife's beautiful face tattooed, along with her name, on my arm. I'd probably have the phrase, "The Brewers lost against the Braves on August 12, 2006."

Other tattoos:
"I ate some awesome Mexican food at Conejitos last night." [That'll explain why I have some serious gas]
"Try out those walker-dance lessons"
"You can't ride a skateboard anymore. So don't try it."
"You used to be in an awesome elevator music band."

June 30, 2006 Jaleel White

Here's the website to, one of my favorite actors, Jaleel White.

Now, "Who's Jaleel White?" I know your asking yourself.

Well, dork, you really should know that. Jaleel White is that famous actor who played that hunky Steve Urkel on the sitcom Family Matters.

Enjoy the websites, friends.

6-27-05 Shaggy Planet

Hello,

I picked up an awesome Sci Fi book from the thrift store for 25 cents. It's called Shaggy Planet and it's by Ron Goulart.

It's, undeniably, a piece of pulp fiction. I'm greatly inspired by it though. Especially the beginning.

In the beginning there's a short entry... a sort of literary prelude...called Peluda. I thought
I'd share it with my reader's:

Peluda

*****A big hovering olive-color box dropped two rugged old men into the mud. "Here's your longlost grandfather," announced the hover truck.

*****"Bullshit," said the woman.

*****"For crying out loud," said the truck. "They must be - at least one of them."

*****A thin little boy ran from the hut. "Grandpa! Grandpa!" he cried.

*****"See?" said the truck. "Your child ought to know his own grandfather."

*****"He's not my child," said the woman. "He's that dopey kid you stuck me with last week."

*****"Your awfully critical of our relocation program," said the truck. "Our Peluda goveernment is working night and day to move you wretched people out of potential war zones, and all you do is complain"

*****"As a matter of fact," said the woman, "you didn't even reunite me with the right husband. But the one you found is better than the old one, so I won't bitch on that score."

June 22, 2006 GSD

I'm sort of pissed that I missed "go skateboarding day" yesterday... I wonder if they have "national wheelchair day" or, at least, "national walker day". If they do, I'm totally in.

May 18, 2006 Kevin Kendall

On November 6th, a cyclist named Kevin Kendall died when a car hit him on his bicycle. For more info, check out the following link: Kevin Kendall.

His death really struck me because I went through something very similar. But, obviously, unless I'm typing this from the great beyond, I didn't die.

I especially like his quote,“My citizenship is in Heaven.”

It's so true, if you think about it. Heaven is a place that we'll all end up some day. So really, we've all been citizens of heaven since birth...

...unless you're into death metal. Then It'd be nerdy to say that you're a citizen of Heaven. It'd be way cooler if you said, "My citizenship is in hell. And Satan is my president!"

I'm totally into freestyle rap. Here's a link for ya'll:

http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx-itemnum-840

I don't know who won that one. But I totally think the guy dressed in orange did.

It's the 21st century jazz/poetry. I think I might try to come up with some of my own, too.

5-02-06 How things are now...

This head trauma [AKA brain damage] has changed the way I view pain in others.

More specifically, I view people who I once viewed as "pussies" or "wimps" as people who haven't had to deal with a lot of pain. Now I view them as "lucky".

I'm going to write a story about a person who has gone through life without experiencing any pain.

He ends up getting an office job because, of all the jobs he applied for [I'll have him apply for some strange, eccentric jobs too] he thinks, it's the easiest, pain-free one to deal with.

However, he stays late one day to finish a report that's due the next day.

While coallating it, he ends up getting a paper cut. He absolutely flips out, collapsing and writing on the floor in "pain". He ends up calling 911.

Unfortunately for him, it starts to bleed. Seeing this, he decides that he'd rather die by jumping from the high building than bleed to death.

So he jumps to his death.

All over a paper cut.

April 27, 2006 New name?

Hello friends, I feel like a new person due to my "head trauma" [AKA "brain damage"]. Because of this, I'd like to rename myself. And I'm looking for suggestions. So if you could help, that'd be great.

Here's what I came up with so far. I really like them. But I don't think they fit me:
*Clinksydoolah
*Blurbablippy
*Pinkle [I have a soft spot for this one]
*Blinksy
*Plubber
*Jonklobloblah

So, what do you think? Suggestions would be great!

Regards,
Skullen

April 25, 2006. My "Full House" inspired story.

Hello peeps [yes, I'm hip now],

I'm going to use this blog in attempts to get my writing ability back. And, yes, I did have some writing ability.

My post-coma brain is totally obsessed with bad television. I find that, for some odd reason, I'm inspired by bad TV. So I'm going to try to write a story inspired by that awesome sitcom "Full House".

I'm lucky, since most people have seen this wonderful program, I can be short with my descriptions of the characters.

********

The Groovy Girls

One autumn day, Uncle Jesse's band, The Cool Guys, was practising in the basement.

Jesse's niece Stephanie and her friend Kimmy were stealing shots of booze in the kitchen. The music came through the shut basement door.

Kimmy took her third shot of bourbon, and said to Stephanie, "You know what? I didn't think they'd be so good."

Holding a full shot glass, Stephanie crinkled her eyebrows and said, "Yeah they're pretty good. But you won't hear any Backstreet Boys songs coming from down there."

[laugh track]

Stephanie's two year old sister, Michelle walked in, heard the music, and let off huge smile. "Cool," she said as she gave off a thumbs up, "Rock N' Row"

[laugh track]

A loud knock comes from the front door. Stephanie answers it.

Two skanky-looking women are in the doorway.

"Uncle Jesse," Yells Stephanie, "Your groupies are here!"

[laugh track]


To Be Continued...whether you like it or not.

April 22 The way I feel sometimes...

Hello gentle readers,

I found a terrific photo that is the perfect representation of the way I sometimes feel:

4-18-06 Bicycle Greenways continued...

In getting to this sad state of affairs, the motoring public did have a general plan -a unifying vision. In the '50's, it pledged our country's resources, best human talent and billions of dollars to making its dream of a utopia real. "If you build 'em, they will come." This was the rallying cry for the interstate highways. As cyclists, we need to commandeer this phrase for ourselves; use it to reverse the sad state of current affairs that this country's love affair with the auto has forced on us.

[You're right about that. However, I think it'll take a lot more time to get bicycles to come than it did for cars. It seems to me that Americans are deathly afraid of physical exursion [SP?].

Maybe there should be some sort of incentive. Maybe some sort of a tax break for those who use it?

4-16-06 Bicycle Greenways

I'm going to use this blog to respond to an article about "National Bicycle Greenways" [NBGs]. The article can be found on the following site: http://www.nationalbicyclegreenway.com/About_NBG/nbgvision.php

NBG Vision

Our Vision of Two-Wheel Unity

Imagine a tree shaded path that cycle tourists, bike commuters, those out for a family ride, and people of all ages and nationalities can come together on to have their biking needs met; a network of bike roads and paths that all of these users can ride side by side on to get to wherever it is that they may need to travel. Car drivers already have such a network of arterials -- the interstate system. And yet while on the Greenway network we envision there is laughter, the smell of fresh cut grass or newly plowed earth, and the faint sound of gears clicking and birds chirping merrily away. On America's freeways, enclosed in their metal capsules, its users are pitted against one another and the planet itself. On their roads, as a result of the way they are designed, motorists only further implode this great sense of separation (not to mention the damage they are causing to one another and the earth itself) that they feel from the planet and from their fellow man.

[Great job contrasting how things are now, in our automobile-dependent culture, to how you envision to be without the auto.

However, when you write about how things are now, you use the phrase "on thier roads". I'm confused that you used the word "thier". Sure, you might not have a car, but you do use the thier roads. So, even though you don't want to admit it, they are your roads too. ]

More to come...