I wrote my father the following e-mail. I was very surprised that he never heard of Skimmery Wimmery Do day. Since he never heard of it, I'm guessing that most people have never heard of it either, because my father is a very intelligent man.
I just want to wish you a happy skimmery-wimmery-do day, which is the day when people discovered that Cupid had magical arrows.
See cupid was off having a picnic alone near a farm.But before his picnic lunch, cupid stashed his arrows underneath the picnic basket.
He packed a terrific lunch; ham sandwiches, apples, watermelon slices, pumpkin pie, and tons of beer. He ate alot, and *drank* even more. He drank so much that he drunkenly looked around the farm, with beer goggles, for a hot girl to have sexual intercourse with. But there were none. Only cows.
He was really in the mood for some watermelon, so he reached inside the picnic basket for it. When he pulled it out, he was absolutely shocked to see ants swarming all over it. He absolutely freaked out, and threw the watermelon across the barn. But, in doing so, he slipped and fell on his own arrows.
He quickly got up. But, unfortunately, he too damn close to the cow field.
When he looked up he saw, what appeared to him to be a *very* sexy golden Guernsey. So he amorously called the cow over with, what he thought to be perfect cow pick-up lines:
"Hey sexy Guernsey. Your udders are making me hot!"
The cow walked towards towards the fence, near cupid's call. Cupid, then thought his pickup lines were working.
The cow turned around to face the other cows. In doing so, her rear directly faced cupid. Of course, horny, amorous cupid saw this as an invitation.
He quickly found a barrel, set the barrel directly behind the cow, jumped up, and pulled his pants down.
Unfortunately, he couldn't find the cows vagina. But he did find her anus!
Of course I could go on and be more descriptive, but you get the point.
Take care, and happy skimmery wimmery do day.
****On a different note, we have a small wipe-off boad in our bedroom informing me of things I should remember. On of the things that's written on it is, "your accident was two years ago." That totally astounds me. I honestly can't believe that it's been that long. It'd feel more realistic if it said, "'your accident was two hours ago."
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