Poetic terms I came up with:
4. Sped-like [AKA. special education like]
On a muxh different note her's a story I wrote. I'm definitely going to put it in Coma-Zine:
Suddenly, a man emerged from the bowling alley, holding the hand of a woman with his one hand, and tossing his car keys up and down with the other hand. He spotted the group, and said, "AHA!!! You's guys wanna have some fun?"
They looked at him with annoyed looks without saying a word.
Obviously, the man took the silence as a 'yes', because he, then, said,"Well, come with me!"
They reluctantly followed him to his car. He walked to a small Honda Civic hatchback, stood facing the driver's side door, and took out his keys. "Well let's get in!" he said. They all stood there thinking, how are we all going to fit in there ?!?!
The guy turned and laughed, "Just kiddin'!!! I bet you guys thought this was my car...Well, I hate Jap crap! My car is that awesome, orange Dodge van over there...the one with the dice in the window!"
He led them over to the "awesome" orange van, and unlocked the side door. "Well lookee here," he said in a high-pitched, squeely voice as he opened the door up .
They looked inside before they walked in. There weren't any seats. It just consisted of plain, grey, shag carpet. So they got in and sat on the shag carpet, leaning against the sides of the van.
He jiggled his keys a bit, unlocked the driver's side door, got in, and put the keys in the ignition.
"Well, wouldja look this?!?" he said as he stared at the massive collection of 8-tracks sitting on the floor. "Whatcha guy's like ?."
He thumbed through the collection reading off the names, "Merle Haggard, Kenny Rogers," he paused as he thumbed through more.
"AHA, I got it! Bruce Willis. Now that's your generation ! He plays the blues harmonica like nobody's business!!!"
He then started the van, and let it run a bit before putting the prized Bruce Willis 8-track in.
After a few seconds it started. It was his terrific rendition of "Under the Boardwalk*"
*[I'm not fooling. He actually does that song. I checked amazon.com.]
"This guy, Bruce Willis, is prime," he said. "His wife is a babe, too!, Don't tell your mom I told you guys this, but: I bet she sucks good dick too!" He let out a hearty guffaw.
One of the boys looked at the others and made a finger-down-the-throat gesture. He nodded at them, winked, and opened his mouth to show the his thoughts. In his mouth, there were four large fangs. Two fangs on the top, and two on the bottom.
He said to the others,"We think our life sucks?!?!Well this guy 's living proof that it could be a lot worse. Let's give him a little excitement!" The others looked at him and nodded in agreement.
After hearing the boy, one of the vampirettes put their mouth on the guy's neck. "Gettin' fresh, are ya?," he said to her. "Well, this is hard to do while driving. But it's worth a try," he said as he unbuttoned his pants, reached into his underwear, and pulled his tiny cock out.
"Well, there ya go, sister," he said. He then said, in a high-pitched baby voice,"Sucky! Sucky!"
The guy totally repulsed the vampirette, so she bit down hard on his neck. He lost control of the van, so one of the others quickly reached up, grabbed the steering wheel, and pulled the guy out of the seat. The vampirette then got in the empty seat and took control of the van.
The guy was dragged to the back of the van. They all got a taste of his blood. It tasted a bit old and moldy, but, hey, it was blood!
"Let's leave him a little. Don't drink it all. Afterall, we do want him to turn into one of us."
"You know, I've always wondered about that," he said.
"About what?" the one vampire asked.
"About turning others into vampires," he replied, and he pause a bit. "It just seems mean and cruel. We have really really boring lives. It just seems evil to subject them to that."
"Well, we are evil! " the other replied. He then struck an introspective pose and continued, "If you think about it, we really are doing these people a sevice!"
"A sevice? How so?"
"By showing that thier boring lives are, actually, not so boring afterall."
"But they can't go back to being human," he said.
"Well, dems da breaks, I guess." He said, letting out a diabolical laugh. "HA HA HA!"