10-29-05 fun times in brain damage group

I regularly go to a brain damage support rehabilitation group. It's supposed to help me. How?I really have no fucking idea.

For example, today I took kleenex out of the box it normally comes in, and put the kleenex in a larger box. Every time we fill up a larger box, we're supposed to mark it down.

I've figured out how it helps me! It helps me get really fuckin pissed! It helps me feel like a useless mentally-challenged bloke.

Before they get us going, they should explain why we're doing what we're doing.

But they don't because the kleenexes are probably being shipped off to help Neo-nazis and Klan members.

10-27-05

Yo. Yo. Yo, beeotches! Ah be doin da gardenin cross-ah-word puzzle in my cross-ah-word puzzle book. It be da muthafuckin' bomb diggity. When ah did it, ah be blown away like a muthafuck because ah dint know that gardens had muthafuckin stank ass HOES!

Peace out!

10-23-05

I don't know what it's called. It's not bestiality. It's not necrophilia. It's not pedophilia.

I've got the major hots for this cartoon character name yumi on Cartoon Network's show "Code Lyoko" .

She's, by far, the hottest cartoon charcter I've seen. Even beating out Roger Rabbit's woman Jessica [I think that's her name] .

Yumi seems sort of like a punk/indie rock/emo girl.

If you've never seen her, here's a link: YUMI.

Toonaphilia, maybe?

11-22-05

My daughter got this terrific book about - of all animals that girls dig - RATS!.

It's entitled, Rats, a complete introduction.

On page 21 there's a picture of dude holding his black and white rat over a bucket of water. It has the caption "If you shampoo your rat, be sure to thouroughly rinse off all lather afterward."

I'm absolutey blown away that, not only would somebody would give thier rat a bath, but also shampoo it!

If this book sounds appealing to, you check it out at:

rats.

10-19-05 Pumpkins in Keene, New Hampshire

I' m totally into watching the Travel Channel.

They just aired a piece about the "New Hampshire pumpkin festival." After seeing this, I totally want to go to the town where it's held. Keene, New Hampshire.

There are so many carved, and lit, pumpkins. WALLS of pumpkins!

The photo above is an example of a wall of pumpkins.

If you're intersted, here's the link to more photos: Keene.

10-18-05

It blows my mind that, not only did I know how to ride a two wheeled bike, but I also was good at skateboarding. For those in the "know", I could do kickflips, variels, no-complies, and heelflips.

Yet another website

Here's a link to an awesome biking website. The photos are terrific. The link: Steephill.

11-03-05

When I get my legs working again, I promised my sweet daughter that I'd go techno bowling with her.

For those that don't know what "techno bowling" is, it's like bowling in a nightclub with strobelights spinning around. Also with heavy "thump thump" dance music playing, too.

10-01-05

My daughter and I agree on three things re: my wife:
1. She's pretty.
2. She's nice.
and the most important one
3. She smells good.

10-29-05 BET

For some strange reason, my post-coma brain is totally into watching BET.

For those unhip, nerdy readers, BET stands for "Bully Eating Tacos".

Just kidding, nerds. It stands for "Black Entertainment Television".

I'm totally into this rap "artist" named Youngbloodz. He does this spectacular song called "Presidential". I've included the awesome lyrics in this post.

Presidential by Youngbloodz

Artist: YoungBloodz (Feat. Lil Jon and Sean Paul)Song: Presidential

Lyrics :

[Sean Paul] (Lil Jon)

Ya, yeah... (YEAH!)A-town is on again...A-town, A-town(YEAH!) A-town, yeahy'all kno how we do round this town...(WHAT?!)youngbloodz...lil jon...(OKAAAAY!)

choke dat fiend[dat fiend]...nawha mean[nawha mean]hat lean..clothes smell like green...[like green]and some white tees[white tees], and white briefs[white briefs]i buy bread, real G's get cheese...[get cheese]back to the streets(WHAT?!)back wit lil jon(WHAT?!)back for the A-town(YEAH!)reppin for the slums(YEAH!)put yo hood up, show a nigga where ya from and if they hate that, then get da job done...(HEY HEY HEY HEY)

what we ridin?[what we ridin?]big wheels(BIG WHEELS!)choppin hard[choppin hard]like Bill!(LIKE BILL!)what we drankin?[what we drankin?]dat patron[dat patron]keep the bottle poppin all night long...[night long](YEAH!)what we smokin?[what we smokin?]dat kush(DAT KUSH!)presidential shit....george bush..(GEORGE BUSH!)how we do it?[how we do it?]like dis(LIKE DIS!)get crunk big big big big big......

[J-bo]

16, imma give it ta ya rawtake it to ya ass, slap ya clean cross the jawnow where dey at? you want some?see, i dont think y'all really want nonesee, im back wit a whole new clipwit a badass chick, on some brand new shit now put em up...to the sky...ya get fucked, get drunk, get high shake em off, ya know what to dotake it to the flo, call out ya whole crewlike what? knuck if you bucksee we still dont give a damnand i never gave a fucksee im, big timin wrists stay blindin wit 4 or 5 freaks, and my pinky ring shinini stay grindin, and true to the streetsif you ever need to find me...then you know where we can meet....

(HEY HEY HEY HEY)what we ridin?[what we ridin?]big wheels(BIG WHEELS!)choppin hard[choppin hard]like Bill!(LIKE BILL!)what we drankin?[what we drankin?]dat patron[dat patron]keep the bottle poppin all night long...[night long](YEAH!)what we smokin?[what we smokin?]dat kush(DAT KUSH!)presidential shit....george bush..(GEORGE BUSH!)how we do it?[how we do it?]like dis(LIKE DIS!) get crunk big big big big big......

[Sean paul]i fill a big bank, and drank drankthats why i got a purpe sprite, and y'all ainti ride big rims, seein me is tallestso when ya step down, baby gurl dont fally'all niggas know the name, they call me Sean pauland i aint got no flowers to sell, breakin the lawniggas call me dope, cuz im hard and im rawcant call me dat fiend wasnt here to make ya coffinits always beside me, watch got diamondsi aint part timin, im full time grindinthe nigga wasn't shinin, live nigga blindinniggas wit da dimes in da whips that i be ridinand i dont pull em out, until the trunk beatand ya can see ya movie sittin in the back seatthey wild on the east, they live in these streetsso imma keep my piece sittin on the front seat...

what we ridin?[what we ridin?]big wheels(BIG WHEELS!)choppin hard[choppin hard]like Bill!(LIKE BILL!)what we drankin?[what we drankin?]dat patron[dat patron]keep the bottle poppin all night long...[night long](YEAH!)what we smokin?[what we smokin?]dat kush(DAT KUSH!)presidential shit....george bush..(GEORGE BUSH!)how we do it?[how we do it?]like dis(LIKE DIS!)get crunk big big big big big......

10-24-0

I just got done watching my wife and daughter take a bath.

Just watching them warms my heart.

My wife will put shampoo in her hair and let my daughter rub it in her hair. Then she'll let Veronica pour water over her head using a cup. My daughter absolutely loves it. Sometimes I'll make her happy by asking if I can smell mommy's hair. And I'll put my nose over the tub, take a deep breath, and let out a big "Mmmmmmmm!" as though it was the most fragrant thing I've ever smelled.

10-22-05

I swear to God, I did die. And now it's up to me to figure out whether I'm in heaven or hell. If it's heaven, fine. But if it's hell, I have to turn it into a heaven; not only for me but also for my daughter and wife.

10-18-05

I think I might write a series of journal entries covering the time while I was comatosed. Each entry will just what I thought might have happened.

It'll probably morph in to something sci fi.

10-04-05 Damn Sellouts

Years ago in the punk scene, it was a big thing to complain about bands that got "mainstream" attention - I.E. they had a hit song or album, or they had a video that got a lot of airtime on MTV.

I'm not sure how common that is now. But I'm starting realize that by doing that, you're denying a lot of people something that you think is awesome. So, in some respects, you're delegitimizing it.
-----
I'm currently writing a story involving somebody who's a big fan of death metal.

Since I don't know anything about the genre, I put the phrase "death metal" into a search engine. I, luckily, got the following site.

The website.

It filled me in on what I've been missing by listening to all of this punk/indie rock crap.

10-03-05

I think humans can learn a lot about themselves simply by watching nature. Simply by watching other animals. Preferably wild animal, not domesticated. I say that because domesticated animals have learned a lot from us.

I believe that we can learn a lot ourselves by observing, say, an ant colony. Or, if we don't learn a lot about ourselves, we learn a lot in general.

I firmly believe in evolution. And, I think I've written this before. I think that, yes, God created humans. But he did so after looking at himself.

10-02-05

Before one gets married and has kids, they should realize that thier future kid is half the person they "did it" with.

8-02-05

It's to the point where I absolutely hat blinking. It feels like I die evertime I shut my eyes. Going to bed at night is super scary for me. It's almost as though I've majorly regressed, as far as age goes.

And, believe or not, for some strange reason wooden stakes scare the shit out of me.

"9-30-05 Harriet Carter continued...

"Money Talks" Money Clip - [ A silver money clip with the inscription "Money talks...but all mine ever says is good-bye"] [Catalog description] will help you hang on too those bills that just seem to fly away! Handsome, lightweight money clip keeps bills secure and won't bulk in suitcoat or trousers...
"Agree With Me"Tee - [A black shirt containing the phrase "You can agree with me or be wrong!"] [Catalog description] is perfect for those who aren't afraid to take a stand and who aren't afraid to let everyone know it!
Doggie Christmas Suit [A picture of a miserable looking dog dressed like Santa Claus] [ Catalog description] - will make your pooch the hit of the holiday season. There'll be delighted squeals from your family as doggie runs around as cute as can be in this santa-inspired jacket with its own belt, and hat over one ear!

9-29-05 Harriet Carter post

Today I was lucky enough to get a "Harriet Carter" catalog in the mail. After reading it, I believe that - even though they don't have the last name - Harriet Carter is actually Lillian Vernon's sister.

Here are some of the things that made me drool in lust:

Eye-catching "Tree Face"- [The picture of a tree's trunk with plastic eyes, ears, and nose attached to it] [the catalog description] puts a friendly smile in your yard. Realistically rendered in textured "bark", this set of facial features is sure to charm all who pass by. Your "cheery" tree will become the talk of the neighborhood. Eyes, nose and mouth are each approx. 4" with attached hangers.

Horse Pillow - [A pillow with a horse on it, with the phrase "Life without horses... I don't think so!] [catalog description] Horse pillow will practically nuzzle upp too you! With warm brown eyes, dark mane, ands white markings on his nose, the horse on this lovely needlepoint-look pillow reminds us of horses we've all known and loved. Add the sentiment, "Life without horses, I don't think so ," and you've got the perfect horse-lover's gift!

Personalized Pet Monument - [a gravestone that reads "In memory of scooter. 1990-2003. Rest in peace.] [catalog description] Makes a lasting tribute to the one who gave you so much love and devotion. Use to mark pet's favorite spot in your yard or garden, where so many happy hours were spent. Name and years are engraved in this stone/resin plaque. Included ground stakes assure monument stays in place.
Prayer Pillow - [a little pillow with the phrase "A day hemmed in prayer is less likely to unravel"] [catalog description] Brings comfort to both body and soul. Attractive pillow is sized just right to fit behind the small of the neck for instant support and relaxation.. Its warm and reassuring message will lift up and inspire all who read it. [Man, even I was inspired!]

[Beware, more to come]

9-28-05

I've been thinking about vampires. And I've reached the conclusion that the person who invented them probably went through something like "head trauma". "Undead" is such a good word to describe how brain damage feels.

But the fictional part of vampires is their "want" to turn others into vampires. I bet some very creative, writerly person with brain damage is the originator of "vampires."

I think I might modernize vampires, and make them more realistic. Instead of having teeth, they'll carry metal, baseball bats. And instead of turning others into vampires by biting them on their necks. They'll beat them over their head with their bats.